Craziness

Trying to avoid melt downs as everything here seems to be chaos.
I am excited about leaving for camp tomorrow because I know that God is going to show up in big ways but I also really struggle when I dont have routine and order to fall back on. Definitely a big stretch of comfort and patience for what I can not control.
My sis is also leaving tomorrow to go up to the lake with my grandparents for three weeks and I am not entirely sure how I feel about that.
Mom and dad have been working so essentially I have been getting myself ready and running my sis around since my parents can't.
So between school, home, work and just the craziness of it all I have had my share of many tears the last few evenings. I just keep hitting the breaking point.
I miss those days when I was little and could just snuggle in my parents arms without any worry. Why doesn't that happen any more?
Counting on the Lord and friends for strength and peace in my heart.
With senior year coming the constant question is what am I going to do with my life....and I am just not sure.
This is where I let go of fear and hold onto love and through it all I seem to realize more and more the importance of love and touch. Somedays the most powerful thing is to simply be held close by a friend. It always seems to speak more than words.
I did get a little bit of a surprise today when I opened the mailbox and found a letter from Sam. Its good to know I am not forgotten :) He returns in September before leaving for Afghanistan- believing that God will keep him safe and use him in big ways there.
I seem to be learning a lot through the many trials, tears, and precious lives jesus is sharing with me. I know that sometimes my rambling doesnt make any sense, but its nice just to write it out sometimes.
Not many new pictures lately even though I have been really wanting to go out a take some. So I will leave you with this shot for now. The little shaggy pony just looks like a soft, loving friend- and those are always a good thing to have.