If only you knew the whole story.

This Endless Inner Pain

No one can see
this endless inner pain,
or hear me screaming
on the inside,
wishing it would end.
And somehow
I am still me,
even though I’m not
the slightest bit like myself.
Although the nights are worse,
this endless feeling of dread
perturbs me all day, every day.
Occasionally it relents,
only to return in full force.
And whenever I think and analyse,
I fall deeper into this miry pit.
Regardless of how hard I try,
I cannot turn off my mind!
I cannot believe this is happening to me.
Help me, God!
Are You angry with me,
or do You understand,
and love me all the more?


Maybe someday I will have the chance to really share it. Maybe then you will understand.