What a day.

Had a doctors appointment this morning and the good news is I got my cast off and the swelling has gone down. Still a little bruised and hurting a lot so they put me in a costume splint for four more weeks. There is concern about ligament and tendon damage so they wanted to keep me immobilized still. The plus side is that its just my hand that is immobilized now and I can take the splint off to wash my hand, etc. My wrist is nice and stiff from not moving for so long but hopefully that will get better in the next few days.
I start my photography internship (as well as school) Monday so I am hoping I can figure out some way to manage my camera with out too much additional pain. I feel like it has been forever since I have taken pictures and I miss it. I can't wait to fill my head with knowledge to see how I can improve my photos :). A little nervous just because I don't know exactly what it is going to bring and it will most likely require some additional boldness on my part, but mostly excited.

So I figured I would share with you my bed for the night. My room is being repainted so I am sleeping in my sis's room tonight.

My matress conveniently fits under my sister bed :)


and looks strikingly similar to the camp bunk beds. So...I will have to remember to be careful upon sitting up in the morning.



Hoping sleep will come quickly tonight and praying for some home situations that I was informed of today. Kind of scary to know, so I am trying to just give it all to God and trust that He will have His hand upon the situation.

I should be sleeping.

Nights are the hardest.
Ever since I crawled in bed tonight my puppy has been snuggled close. Its kinda unusual for her to stay with me this long because my twin bed is a little small for the two of us and she gets pretty hot. The paint fumes aren't that bad so I opted to sleep in my own bed tonight and without even calling she joined me.
Thankful for her presence because I am still awake and hurting. There comes a point where I just end up lying in bed crying because I want more than anything for the pain to stop and to actually fall asleep. Night become so hard when I am hurting- it gives the enemy a way in and regardless of how hard I try I find myself falling to his lies.
In the dark it seems that every fear I have manages to creep into my head and I start questioning the things I shouldn't question. I find myself getting closer to the edge but once daylight comes again things seem to be okay. Its like a cycle that needs to be broken.
We all have those days. It is just hard to see the other side when we are facing them.

Eventually it will get done

We have been in the process of repainting my room for about two years now.....well we haven't been painting it that long just trying to get ready to. I am kinda a particular person so it takes a lot for me to pack up everything I have into boxes and taking everything off the wall so we can actually paint them.
I have been taking baby steps...but I could never seem to take that last big step.
So i guess it is going to happen this weekend. Not the most ideal time since it is the weekend before school starts but it needs to be done. I mean we have had the paint for quite a while now. I guess the plus side of living in an old farm house is that the rooms are small :)
I was really hoping that once we started this my grandpa would be able to come down and put a new window in my room. See, my kinda leaks which isn't good. We have a new window that was given to us sitting in our shop but since it isnt the exact same size it would take a lot of extra work to change them out. Since I was a preemie there are some health concerns that come with a leaky window and the chance of mold and mildew that it brings. Hopefully something will change and he will be able to come down for a visit soon and it wont take too much to change windows.
Hopefully I will be able to keep my cool through the end of the weekend and this weekend. Somedays I just feel so overwhelmed that I hit my breaking point and this just ads to it all.
I will be happy once its all done and everything is back to normal....my room is kinda my safe haven and it looks like it will be kind of disassembled for a few days. That and I was told I am not aloud to sleep in there because of drying paint fumes.

No Matter What

A dear friend posted this song on my facebook page one evening. I was having a really rough night so I ended up listening to the song at like 2 am. Ever since the song has stuck with me. I have had some really rough days this past week with nights being the worst and little verses of this song just seem to come to mind.
I found the message and video to be pretty powerful so I thought I would share them with you.

It has been decided.

Just thought I would let the world know that it has been decided. My sister and I are going to dance together for Fine Arts to Lead Me by Sanctus Real.....just as soon as I get this cast off and get my hand all healed up.
I am very excited because I was so moved by the song when I first heard it and I think it is the perfect message for us to dance to. Maybe it will impact some of the people in our own house.
We are still working on getting someone to help us choreograph the dance and I kinda laugh to myself when I think about it. It will definitely be a slower more controlled dance which will challenge both of us. It ought to be interesting since my sis has more of a cheer background and I have a gymnastics background.
So if you have any thoughts regarding this post or happen to know anyone that might be up for helping with choreography I would love to hear from you.
On a side note I would just like to say that I think I am having a good night. There have been many tears the last several days and tonight I actually feel like I have some energy and not so down. Still processing some thoughts from a few conversations I have had lately and realizing that I may need help but I will get through this. Things aren't always easy but in the end everything is probably going to be okay.
And on another side note I finally got a little desk for my room. It is kinda old and beat up but its little and perfect for me. No more sitting on the floor for my computer....now just to find a chair.

A little post

Not a lot to say just thought I would share one of my latest photos with you.
Once again dreaming of a vacation.

Adventures

Today's day started off with the adventures of new times at JRA. In the end I think all turned out fine but it was a little crazy with so many people and then I had to head off to a creative services meeting for photography.
Project Partnership is the Saturday and I am planning on trying to photograph the event even though it isn't very ideal to do so with a cast on. I don't have a photography badge yet (they are trying to make me one this week) and they were out of "photographers" badges so they gave me a press badge and told me not to worry if one of the pastors came up to me and started talking to me. Oh dear, I hope I can get my own photography badge this week. I am definitely not cut out for press.

Then after church my sister and I had to stop by Walmart to pick up a few things for our parents and we were very fascinated by all the flowers. I had a little bit of babysitting money so I splurged and bought a five dollar bouquet to use as a prop since we were planning on tacking some pictures.

It was HOT HOT HOT! outside. But we did get a couple of fun shots. So get ready for image overload. (If you click on the picture you can see it bigger)



































































My pictures aren't always perfect, but I am learning and that was our little adventure....however I dont highly recomend photographing with a fractured hand. Very sore after ever with a cast supporting.