The Shack

I started reading The Shack by Wm. Paul Young a few weeks ago and as I was going reading it I couldn't help but notice all the different messages the book has. Many of them are little but I found them speaking to my heart and I though I would share them with you.

* God keeps and eye on each and everyone one of his children whether they know him or not.
* Don't go talk to God out of obligation but talk to him because you want to.
* God wants to heal the wounds within if we let him.
* When all you see is pain you loose sight of God.
* Humans are defined by the intentions God has set for them not their limitations.
* Even when we feel lost we are not lost.
* If we dread falling we won't learn to fly.
* The days will go easier if we can just accept what they are.
* If things were always easier then He wouldn't be.
* Love always leaves a significant mark.
* God has never left us and never will.
* What we see as a mess God sees as perfection.
* In pain we assume the worst of God.
* Most emotions are responses to perception.
* If God wants you yo know your end destination he will tell you. Until then follow him as he leads you.
* We can still slip even when walking in the presence of God.
* Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting. Just letting go.
* You may have to declare forgiveness multiple times daily but it will become less & less and one day you will realize you have forgiven completely.
* Tears are sometimes the best words the heart can speak.

Such a good book and many little messages throughout that are good to remember.

Photography and a few other things.

Looks like I have a couple of shoots lined up for the end of the week.
One of them being for my internship for the church and another for a friend.
The 5k Cherish Kids run should be fun to shoot :) However being there at 8am....not quite as fun. Not really sure what to expect but from what I understand there will be lots going on which translates to lots of photography opportunities.
Then this evening I got a call from a friend who is getting married on thursday. They are having a private ceremony in her back yard with just their four children. She asked if I would do some pictures of her and her soon to be husband before the wedding (so more along the engagement style) and also some of their children. :) Should be very fun.
Looks like I got my monopod just in time. Still struggling with my injured hand and I think this will make things easier. I just have to figure out if there is a piece I can add to it in order to allow me to shoot horizontally and vertically.
So if you are reading this and having any tips, suggestions, or ideas please feel free to share.


I leave you with my small treasure from my weekend. Thrifting with my grandma was a fun change.
Though the camera is an old film camera it seems to be a pretty common one. I was excited that it still had the manual and everything. My goal is to read it and learn what I can :)



On a side note I made the decision to rededicate my life to Christ today and while the struggle that is in my life isn't instantly gone there is a different peace in my heart. I don't know how things will all work out in the end- the least I can do is make sure I am in the right place with God. And I came to a point where I realized that running away from Him was not where I was suppose to be. Life becomes even scarier when why try to do it on our own. I say this not because I want attention but because its good to hold each other accountable.



Holding Us
We often see ourselves as fragile, breakable souls,
We live in fear of that which we are certain
we can't survive.
As children of God, we are only as fragile as our
unwillingness to hide our face in Him.
Our pride alone is fragile
Once it shell is broken and the heart laid bare,
We can sense the caress of God's tender care.
Until then He holds us just the same.
-Beth Moore-

No Matter What

A dear friend posted this song on my facebook page one evening. I was having a really rough night so I ended up listening to the song at like 2 am. Ever since the song has stuck with me. I have had some really rough days this past week with nights being the worst and little verses of this song just seem to come to mind.
I found the message and video to be pretty powerful so I thought I would share them with you.

Camp

Wow. Camp was simply amazing. There may not be words to describe just how amazing it was.
Before leaving I was kind of a nervous wreck and I was amazed to see all the encouragement from those around me. (i was walking through walmart the day before leaving andI have never had so many people say "Hi'' to me or smile at)
Chaos is just not my thing and while that is exactly what most of the camp was it was also a huge growing experience and a major encounter with God.
I was blessed to share this experience with some friends as we grew and bonded over the weekend. I wish I could recall each and every moment because I don't think I have ever laughed, talked, yelled, or cheered so much in my life.
The services were amazing and there was such a power in praying with and for each other. Every time we joined hands to pray I felt so connected. I found myself praying with and for different people throughout the weekend which was definitely a stretch of my faith but it also really changed my heart.
Monty Hipp did a great job of bringing God's word and I know there were many testimonies from the weekend. I was really praying God would speak to me on forgiveness and I was blown by how He did just that many times over the weekend. I think a lot of people were really challenged to stand up and be the example in their home situations as well as not becoming complacent with where they were at in their walk with God.
I am not really a competitive person so I wasn't extremely into the games but I did find myself yelling and cheering on my team mates. I think I surprised myself and little and the other people on my team. Pink team did come in last place but the experience was totally worth it.
God has really shown me love and happiness these last few days and coming home my heart is still experiencing that. There are some things I am working on changing because I want to move forward in my walk with Him and I don't want to let my hinderances hold me back.
I don't know what adrenaline and energy source I was running on at camp but when I got home yesterday I crashed. I think I fell asleep around 5:30 and when my parents woke me up an hour later for dinner I remember laying in bed and my head just felt empty....I couldn't remember where I was or what I was doing. I managed to eat about half my dinner before crawling back in bed and sleeping till 8am. One would think that 14 hours of sleep would be enough to refuel but I have already had a 2 hour nap today as well. Just trying to make it through.
This is all to say that no one in life is perfect but when we choose to live through Jesus we can live a happy and worth while life. :)
Thanks to all the people who made this camp so memorable!
Special thanks to Hona and Heather for stepping up to the plate and leading the team. You guys are changing lives by the wisdom and love you are willing to share at each and every moment.

God works in mysterious ways

We never really know the extent to which we impact other people's lives. It was just this morning that I was thinking how true that is and thinking back over the last couple of days many moments seem to show just that.

This morning was no exception and I wanted to share the testimony with you.

While visiting my grandparents this morning my grandpa handed me a $5 bill and began to share the story behind it.

He knows a lady who is very poor, has many health conditions and lives in a very run down house. A member from James River Church recently went to her house to help her clean up and fix things up. The lady is not a believer but she later gave my grandpa that same $5 bill and told him that she had been carrying it around in her pocket for several weeks and wanted to give it as payment for the help she had received even though she knew payment was not required. She was very persistent that my grandpa take the money even though it was all she had.

My grandpa tells me all this with tears in his eyes and I can't help but think of the impact that she is going to have on the world, whether she knows it or not.

I can't tell you why she gave my grandpa that $5 bill but I do know that God works in mysterious ways.

Furthering God's kingdom may not always work out how we plan it to but people around the world will be touched by the gift from this woman because it is going to the Speed the Light offering at church.

I can't say that I would be able to share this testimony with you today had the man from the very church I go to not helped this lady out. It really goes to show that we never know the extent to which we impact the lives around us.

She may not even be expecting to reach the lives of people across the world but because she was touched by someone else she is doing just that.

I think this also goes to show that its okay to not know all the details. Had the man who went to help her been told by God that he would be helping missionaries across the world he probably would have been confused and given up because it didn't seem logical that by helping this woman that he would be helping missions. God truly does see the bigger picture and He knew that the effects of caring and helping would go far beyond just one person.

Remembering

The past is not something would should forget but rather learn from. Sometimes I get to thinking and I am amazed at the journey I have been on. It wasn't too long ago that my life was consumed by the one thing I loved the most- gymnastics. The following note is something I had to write for English. I am by no means an excellent writer and grammar is not something I am good at, but I though maybe I could give you an idea of the life I once lived as a competitive gymnast.

The montage below is just some clips from throughout the years. Some are older and therefore not very good quality.


Stitches in a Quilt
Perhaps the moments in life that make up our journey are like stitches in a quilt. They are not always perfect but, like the threads from which they are woven, they are an integral part of the quilt.
Several years of my life were spent training in a gym. The chalky atmosphere that gave way to a light haze as the evening hours passed became home to me. Calloused hands and bruised feet were all part of the normal everyday life I lived. I was a gymnast trying to fulfill the desires of my heart and express the emotions in my soul that could not be verbalized. Hours of my life were spent training in the hope of one day reaching perfection. In the place I called home I found an exhilarating comfort in tumbling across a four inch wide beam and running full speed towards a stationary object to tumble over it and land on my feet again. My small stature was perfect for the sport and I lived for the adrenaline rush that would mask all pain as fear and excitement mixed.
We were the gymnasts that the little girls looked up to and admired. We were the ones who were to set an example of what can come from hard work and dedication. While there is an extreme sense of pride that comes with that, it was also a lot to live up to. We would hide the tears and put on fake smiles to hide the pain in our eyes. To them our lives were perfect and we couldn’t dash their hopes and dreams of one day becoming like us.
But one has to wonder, does anyone ever stop to think that the perspective of the gymnast training on the floor must be different from the perspective of all the people watching from behind the rail. It’s like a wall is built where one point of view stops and another begins. As gymnasts we worked to never disappoint any of those people watching, even if that meant pushing past out breaking point. Being perfect to them was all that mattered, and we often paid for it later. Whether we were in a competition or not we were constantly being judged. It often became mentally and emotionally draining to try to live up to others expectations.
The relentless training and pounding on my bones eventually began to catch up with my body. The everyday aches and pain became un-ignorable. I began making sacrifices at the gym only training certain events on certain days. This was a way I could try to save my body as I continued to train.
I got really good at hiding my pain from others so I could continue doing what I loved; but, there came a day when I realized just how much danger I was putting myself in. While training a new skill and coming off of an old injury I landed on my head tearing the muscles in my neck and getting a concussion. After trying to come back from this injury my gymnastics career ended. Looking back now, I realize it’s a fall like that that could have left me seriously injured.
For a while, after retiring from gymnastics, I had no idea what to do with myself. There was a hole in my heart where gymnastics had once been and I desperately needed to find a new way to express myself and ease my soul.
One day I randomly decided to take up the ambitious goal of making a quilt. Not quite realizing the task ahead of me, I set out anxious to reach the end result. Little did I know that what lay ahead was hours of delicate sewing with needle-pricked fingers and achy muscles. Stitches had to be sewn and re-sewn in hopes of making them perfect. The hours spent quilting finally paid off and I realized I had found a way to release my mind and soul. I welcomed hours of silence the task provided. One little ambitious goal gave way to a new hobby that was just as rewarding as flying through the air.
After hours of thinking it has been made known to me that the moments in life can be compared to the stitches in a quilt; we have to let others see the imperfect stitches as it gives them permission to be imperfect as well.


Gymnastics has taught me many life lessons that I now use daily, but it is God who is ultimately teaching me what it means to live. Had I continued with gymnastics I probably wouldn't be where I am in my walk with God today. I guess it was all part of His bigger plan. He is using me just the way I am and I am learning how to use the gifts, He has blessed me with, to glorify His name.
The quilt story is definitley one for another day. The testimonies from them still leave me speechless.

retreat

Wow. I haven't even posted about retreat yet. I guess I can fix that. :)

I had such an amazing weekend with friends and God. I can't even begin to put into words what God is doing in my life. I was in awe of how all the services seemed to connect and how applicable they were.

The bus ride down to the campgrounds was definitely a crazy one. I don't think the bus driver could have drove any faster through the hills without flying. No idea how fast she was going, just thankful I didn't loose my stomach.

After dinner and service they stuck us all in the chapel for late night games. Now, I could be wrong but I don't think that chapel is made for 200 students plus leaders to play games in. Thats not to say we didn't all fit, it was just a little more cramped than usual.

We also had day light savings time while at camp so that seemed to complicate things just a little bit. We were all in bed at 11:30 on Saturday, but really is was 10:30. So all the girls were laying in the bunks giggling because they were still hyper.

Somehow on the bus ride home we gained an extra person riding back and there weren't quite enough seats. So Hannah and I, both of us being little, volunteered to both ride in the last seat of the bus that is just a little shorter than all the rest. If two "normal" size people had tried that it probably wouldn't have worked. Lucky for us, we fit perfectly.

Through this journey I have been on lately through Fine Arts and all I have made a new friend. I was so glad Hannah was able to come to retreat :) We were buddies all weekend and I am super glad I got to hang out with her.

Pink team didn't come anywhere close to winning but it was fun to get away from all the distractions and seek God along with the fellowship of friends.

Some memories were definitely made even though it was a cold and wet weekend. Just goes to show that God can show up anytime and anywhere.

I am sure there is more that I am forgetting, in fact I know there is. Sometimes its just hard to put into words how great God is and all that He is doing.

A world that needs God

Most people that know me would probably agree that I have lived a very sheltered life compared to the outside world.

Ask me about TV shows or movies and I will probably have no idea what you are talking about. I never went through that stage of needing to talk on the phone for hours at a time and I used to refuse to go to sleep overs because I was just so used to being at home and alone. I am definitely the introverted child of the family.

As I have gone through high school, I was extremely oblivious to most of what was going on around me. I had never been exposed to drugs or the inappropriate language or partying. And while I am sure I have no idea half of the stuff that goes on it gets harder and harder to ignore what IS going around me.

I have recently been confronted by some friends who are going through a pretty rough situation. Due to some of the choices they were making they found themselves homeless at 17 and without any body they could really trust to turn to. I can not even begin to imagine what it is like to be a teenager, unsure what I am going to do with my life, and find myself without any where to go. I do not agree with the decisions they have made but I knew that I couldn't walk out on them when all their other friends had. I did what I could to help them and then I finally reached a point where I just gave it to God because I knew this was something beyond what help I could offer.

I immediately felt my heart lighten as I knew that God was going to help them. And while I know that God holds them in His hand the help they need is not something that is going to take place with a snap of the fingers. God works through us and of us. So while this may be something only God can do. I also have to do my part in stepping up to carry out what it is that God places in my heart.

There are people all over crying out for help and as I walk further into my walk with God my eyes are opened more and more. I can't wrap my mind around why people would turn to the things of sin in a time of hurt, especially when at one point they were walking with God, but I can reach out my hand to be the connecting link that they so desperately need.

I, at one point in my life found myself in the same place and while I wasn't turning to things that would harm myself or others there was a loneliness in my heart that I needed filled. God has a plan for all of us and part of His plan for me was to provide me with leaders and friends so that I could be led to Him. Now God is calling me to be one of those leaders to others around me.

There will be people that I always look up to and there will be those that look up to me. Its crazy that God could use someone so little and quiet to reach the lost. He may call me to reach one or He may call me to reach 1000. Whatever it is that He calls me to do, I know that He has a plan and He hold our world in His hands. He is making a testimony of my life and those around me.

As I get ready for sleep tonight I know that God is working my life and the lives of those I love.

He is working something big in my sister's heart and while I don't know the details she told me that God is changing how she views the world and all for the better. I have seen him begin to work in my parents lives and even though they are only taking baby steps I know that one days all those baby steps will amount to something big and they will come to know God.

A message from God

As I get ready for bed tonight after an amazing evening with friends I am made aware that there are messages all around us just waiting to be heard.

My dad doesn't always say a lot but he said something to me tonight that really caught my heart. The funny thing is he was actually talking about the kitten we are watching for a friend....she is kind of devious and he was joking when he told me I would need the appropriate equipment to find her. He was merely joking as he said this but God helped me to hear the lesson even in the midst of such few words. Sometimes people say things that spark ideas in our heart and maybe that is all part of God's plan. We just have to be open enough and listening so we dont miss even the littlest things that God whispers our way.

My dad told me that we should always be given the equipment needed when we are given a task. It seems that God quietly reminded my heart that He provides us with all the equipment we need to carry out what He is calling us to do.

We are so blessed to have a God who stands by our side and readily places whatever it is that we might need to help others and reach the lost. Sometimes we let fear get in our way so we don't see the help He is offering us, but that doesn't mean it isn't there.

Such a comforting thought that I am taking to heart tonight as I thank God for the wonderful day He has given me.

The Possibilities are Endless

I often see the world flash before my eyes as I am walking the hallways at school. I stand at 4'8" and getting bumped and pushed around is normal as people are easily double or triple my size.

I frequently feel like things are made for someone bigger and taller as everything always seems to be just out of my reach. Whether I am at the library, the store, or even at school I have to find alternate ways to get what it is that I am after. Since I am done growing I have a feeling this is how my life will always be.

Even though I am small it has been made very clear to me that I can still do big things. I am just as capable as anyone around me to make an impact on this world. I can do my part in prayer and show love and compassion to a hurting world.

While some days I feel small and invisible now I know that God has a BIG plan for my life. This world has something to look out for. With God's help anything is possible and I am ready to do my part!

God will use us all in our own unique ways to make the difference He has called us to make.

Something Beautiful

Simple words can often carry big meaning.

Life is "something beautiful" and through its hardships I am learning to stop and appreciate its beauty everyday.

This is also the title to the song I am dancing to for Fine Arts.

A door of opportunity that God has opened for me. Being a shy person who doesn't like attention this is also a really big step out of my comfort zone.

I debated for a long time whether or not I would actually go through with this and at the last minute I felt like God was pushing me to go for it.

Got my dance choreographed yesterday and I am in love with it. It still needs some tweaking and a lot of practice but it will be beautiful once it is done.

I am so blessed to be able to use the gifts God has given me to glorify His name.

More to come on the dancing and the journey God is taking me on.