Camp

Wow. Camp was simply amazing. There may not be words to describe just how amazing it was.
Before leaving I was kind of a nervous wreck and I was amazed to see all the encouragement from those around me. (i was walking through walmart the day before leaving andI have never had so many people say "Hi'' to me or smile at)
Chaos is just not my thing and while that is exactly what most of the camp was it was also a huge growing experience and a major encounter with God.
I was blessed to share this experience with some friends as we grew and bonded over the weekend. I wish I could recall each and every moment because I don't think I have ever laughed, talked, yelled, or cheered so much in my life.
The services were amazing and there was such a power in praying with and for each other. Every time we joined hands to pray I felt so connected. I found myself praying with and for different people throughout the weekend which was definitely a stretch of my faith but it also really changed my heart.
Monty Hipp did a great job of bringing God's word and I know there were many testimonies from the weekend. I was really praying God would speak to me on forgiveness and I was blown by how He did just that many times over the weekend. I think a lot of people were really challenged to stand up and be the example in their home situations as well as not becoming complacent with where they were at in their walk with God.
I am not really a competitive person so I wasn't extremely into the games but I did find myself yelling and cheering on my team mates. I think I surprised myself and little and the other people on my team. Pink team did come in last place but the experience was totally worth it.
God has really shown me love and happiness these last few days and coming home my heart is still experiencing that. There are some things I am working on changing because I want to move forward in my walk with Him and I don't want to let my hinderances hold me back.
I don't know what adrenaline and energy source I was running on at camp but when I got home yesterday I crashed. I think I fell asleep around 5:30 and when my parents woke me up an hour later for dinner I remember laying in bed and my head just felt empty....I couldn't remember where I was or what I was doing. I managed to eat about half my dinner before crawling back in bed and sleeping till 8am. One would think that 14 hours of sleep would be enough to refuel but I have already had a 2 hour nap today as well. Just trying to make it through.
This is all to say that no one in life is perfect but when we choose to live through Jesus we can live a happy and worth while life. :)
Thanks to all the people who made this camp so memorable!
Special thanks to Hona and Heather for stepping up to the plate and leading the team. You guys are changing lives by the wisdom and love you are willing to share at each and every moment.

Craziness

Trying to avoid melt downs as everything here seems to be chaos.
I am excited about leaving for camp tomorrow because I know that God is going to show up in big ways but I also really struggle when I dont have routine and order to fall back on. Definitely a big stretch of comfort and patience for what I can not control.
My sis is also leaving tomorrow to go up to the lake with my grandparents for three weeks and I am not entirely sure how I feel about that.
Mom and dad have been working so essentially I have been getting myself ready and running my sis around since my parents can't.
So between school, home, work and just the craziness of it all I have had my share of many tears the last few evenings. I just keep hitting the breaking point.
I miss those days when I was little and could just snuggle in my parents arms without any worry. Why doesn't that happen any more?
Counting on the Lord and friends for strength and peace in my heart.
With senior year coming the constant question is what am I going to do with my life....and I am just not sure.
This is where I let go of fear and hold onto love and through it all I seem to realize more and more the importance of love and touch. Somedays the most powerful thing is to simply be held close by a friend. It always seems to speak more than words.
I did get a little bit of a surprise today when I opened the mailbox and found a letter from Sam. Its good to know I am not forgotten :) He returns in September before leaving for Afghanistan- believing that God will keep him safe and use him in big ways there.
I seem to be learning a lot through the many trials, tears, and precious lives jesus is sharing with me. I know that sometimes my rambling doesnt make any sense, but its nice just to write it out sometimes.
Not many new pictures lately even though I have been really wanting to go out a take some. So I will leave you with this shot for now. The little shaggy pony just looks like a soft, loving friend- and those are always a good thing to have.

Senior Pictures dream shoot.

Stumbled upon these while searching for ideas for senior pictures and fell in love. <3 I definitely want to incorporate gymnastics into my pictures since it has been such a big part of my life. I am not entirely sure how I want to do that so thinking about it seems to be on my mind a lot lately as it is an intriguing thought.
So something along these lines...whatever type of photography you would call it....is what I want.
I love the vintage type colors :)

Love

Communication is necessary to let others know what your needs are. People don't automatically know what we are needing in that moment. Finding myself at that place of struggle a lot lately so know this- in my quietness I need love and affection just as much as everyone else and things aren't always what they seem.

Sunday- the start of a new week.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that Sunday is the start of a new week and some things just have to be left behind.

So much going on lately and little bit of a rough week at home with a few things that came up.

Learning that sometimes it is okay to find yourself in the midst of struggle and at the mercy of God's feet.

Then I had one of those breath taking moments at church this morning as Heather sang "What a savior" by Laura Story. The song was powerful and just seemed to move me from within. Its crazy how such simple words can a make difference to your day. I have been repeating the chorus of the song in my head ever since and I can't help but thank Jesus for those encouraging words.

I have so much going on I actually broke down and made a list of all that I had to do. I am finding it quite helpful!

After having art walk this past friday and seeing the interest people had in my work I actually decided to add "session" information to my website. I felt very accomplished to actually decide on pricing and get my website updated. :)

I start a summer school class at OTC tomorrow and will be taking College Algebra four days a week for the next two months. A little excited but mostly nervous. I think once I actually figure out where the classroom is I will feel a lot better. On the bright side I have a teacher's version text book which might be helpful if I need to work backwards from the provided answer.

Really just trying to take a moment to breathe today and remind myself that all will work out in the end. Thankful for some pretty amazing friends who are constantly sharing their love and making my heart a little lighter.

Learning to grow even when I dont understand.

Big thanks to Heather Cherie Photography for the pictures of my art walk display. :)

Finding the right words to say.

For those days when you want to say something but nothing seems to be enough. Finding peace in the midst of Jesus, silence, and many tears.

A lovely landscape created by none other than our gracious God.

Dreaming

At this moment I am contemplating what it might look like if I decided to train again and compete floor for my senior year. It would be so cool to be back and the gym and just have fun competing floor. Truly let my inner light shine and show the world what is within.

I think the task of competing floor alone would be feasible with hard work and it would definitley be a joy to my heart to be on the floor again-dancing, tumbling, smiling. just being me.

When I really stop to think about it though I know it is unlikely it will happen. I am not sure how I ever managed before spending so many hours training and there is no way financially now we would be able to go back to it.

I think returning to the sport would definitely teach me to overcome some of my fears and I think good body awareness would let me get my skills back quickly. There is no doubt in my mind that this is possible. I can still feel what it feels like to tumble even when Im not tumbling, gymnastics is a feeling and I can still feel it inside of me.

Going back would be a dream come true but I guess it is a dream that I will just keep dreaming.

This is a photo taken of me when I first started competing...